I have the WORST luck with guys. Seriously. So for most of my dating history, I've dated guys that are beneath me, and I know it, and so does everyone else. Sad, but overwhelmingly true. Why would I do such a thing you might ask? Well, I'm kind of a commitment phobe and I didn't want to chance falling for one and marrying someone. I'm just not that kind of girl. Also, since I'm Mormon everyone is asking and prodding about your love life and when you're going to get married and all that crap, but me, I wanted to finish school, and do the career thing, and IF, heaven forbid, IF, I found a guy that suited me, and decided to get married, so be it. But if you couldn't tell, a lot rested on that IF, it wasn't even a when. Now, I've found one, and that's not working out either. I just can't win. Buggers. Although, I'm sitting in the UW law school, while I write this, and I have to say... there are some good looking future lawyers... Perhaps all is not lost.
Twitter. I twitter, probably more than is good for my health, and I'm amazed by all the really cool people I meet there. One problem is that it means I've become disillusioned with my current friends, and realize that all in all, I kind of like my twitter friends more. This is bad. My twitter friends are all online, could actualy be a figment of my imagination, and I like them more? What the hell? I decided to rank some of them. 1. yonderboy 2. mpetnuch 3. binarytales 4. Jamesbressi 5. dgallagher 6. ricktellier 7. benmarvin. Keep in mind that babiesforlunch, allenbrand, meatymonk1, and WDC were essentially exempt from such a list because I obviously love them all they either are, or practically are family.
I'm boring today. I don't know why. But lately, I've been all over football again, as in throwing the football with my Dad. He's great for that. It's been one of the perks of living at home again. One, I get to throw the football all the time, and Two, I get to play Extreme Badmitton, which I think is a Dean family thing we made up, but you play badmitton with tennis rackets, and it rocks. I do suggest trying it.
So when my little sister was littler, I used to tell her stories, children stories that you'd usually see with adorable pictures adorning the pages. They were very random and probably fueled mostly by my non-sleep that I have inhibited for most of my life. She loved them though. She still remembers them, even though they've long been lost to my memory. She's been telling me I should write childrens books for a living. Honestly, I'd love to be a writer. I used to be pretty good at that stuff, but I haven't written a short story or a novel in ages. The idea of trying, is tempting, but the idea of failing, would kill me, so I don't. Is that bad? Should I try it just once and see how it pans out? I'm not sure I can handle rejection, although at this point in life I should be used to it, sadly.
Oh, Birthday... My birthday is in about two weeks. It's on October 13th. In my family, you're expected to make a low-level power point (aka paper with detailed desired birthday madness) that explains what you want to do for your birthday, and what you want. I honestly don't know. I'm not big on holidays. In fact, I hate them. I know, I'm going to hell. Regardless though, I don't know what want. Every year for my birthday, being the nerd I am, we go to a museum or exhibit that is in Seattle. Last year we went to the Museum of History and Industry (MOHAI), and the year before that I went to the Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibit, and the Bodies Exhibit. Problem... This year, there really aren't any fantastic exhibits to go to for my birthday. Which blows. My nerdy side is disappointed. I even looked at going to the Orchestra or something, but nothing plays on my birthday. How Boring. Any Ideas?
As for gifts... I'm living out of boxes at my parents house. I really don't think I should be getting more stuff, until I have a place of my own to put it. Right? So far, I've thought of a couple things
1.Kalanchoe (a plant with little orange flowers)
2. Tiger Lily (a plant with bigger orange flowers)
3. Black boots (My old ones got stolen when my car was stolen)
4. The Cup Cake book they have at Urban Outfitters ( I like baking, so shoot me)
5. Books (I'm a nerd, remember?)
6. mission Impossible 1 (Um, only movie I don't have I think I might want)
That's it. That's lame. There's nothing with any... pizazz. Nothing with any down right Dean qualities. Am I really that boring? Don't answer that. I know the answer.
Problem, is I know what I'd really want for my birthday... But I know I can't have it, and I know it's completely out of my or anyone else's hands. Oh well.
So this one time, a couple of my friends planned a surprised birthday party for me, which actually had a lot more people there than I expected, but anyhow, I spoiled it. How you might ask? Well, my Dad was supposed to keep me away until a certain time, and he didn't hear it right, or my Mother didn't say it right, and so We got home early. I walked in and there were people making virgin margaritas and whatnot and I was so confused. I was like "What are you all doing here?" "Um, Surprise?". Yeah, leave it to me to show up to my surprise party before the guests got there. Love it. Oh, and don't think I was dumb for not realizing it was a birthday thing for me, because it was like the week before or the week after. I'm not dumb. Well, usually.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Politics really blow.
Being finished with school is way over-rated. Let me tell you. Although I might be biased because I still don’t have a steady job yet, and my best friend Rachel just left for England for an entire freaking year. Yeah, I know. RUDE! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating just a little, but I don’t think so. She gave me this cell phone charm of a stuffed cow that I’ve been lusting after for a while. It’s frigging adorable. I love it. Problem though, is that every time I access my phone, which if you know me, you know is a whole heck of a lot, I end up thinking of her. Ironic. But, she’s my dim-sum and sushi buddy, and she’s gone! Now how am I going to get my sushi and dim sum fix? Honestly... How unthoughtful of her to put her future before me. Mostly joking.
Other odd news lately. Two of my friends finally came out, and well we’re all Mormon (Sort of), so they made a bit of a stir. Oddly, I’m completely un-phased. My mother was mortified, which just made me laugh. My father, he didn’t really care, although it spurned on a bunch of names for gay men. I prefer to call say that they diddle in the hershey sauce. I know, completely uncalled for. Oh well. My Tolo date in high school was gay. He’s gorgeous though, still to this day. I remember asking him by writing a poem about him in class, since we shared AP Bio at the time. The first lines were “There was once a guy in my biology class, and my god did he have a nice ass”. I loved the poem and wish I could remember it, but it was very humorous.
I’m very much a moderate, politically, and I was disappointed in Obama’s choice for vice presidential candidate. Well, that was until McCain’s choice. Honestly. I wish politicians would quit pandering to people who don’t even like them, and just pick people that would be good for the spot. I mean, Palin would be great, fresh, idealistic, if we lived in the right society, but, we don’t. Period. We live in a society where people choose to vote for all the wrong reasons, and people are just politically uneducated. I’m a political science major if you didn’t know. And the majority of the people that vote can’t even tell you what the candidates stand for, at all. That’s just sad. Our system is corrupt, and people are dumb. Sad, but honestly the lack of political knowledge, or participation makes me sad. Also, I wish people understood the theories behind things, and paid attention to history.
Russia for example, and the ensuing conflicts with various countries and the US. Obama says he wants to talk it out, and not get involved or resort to violence. Admirable, and I wish that was the way things worked. We tried that with most wars, and then we get things like pearl harbor, etc. The point is, talking and economic sanctions don’t work for real, military threats. However, McCain doesn’t know how to play the thin line between preemptively responding, and addressing threats that can be talked down and put in their places through economic sanctions and pressure from the international scene. There’s no balance. We have two candidates that are way over on one side or the other, and so fixed in their ways that they cannot imagine alternatives. Politics are sad, and they affect everyone, yet no one is smart enough to participate intelligently.
Enough political ranting. No one likes politics anyhow, and those that do are senile. Case in point: Me. I’ve been listening to some great bands lately, but one in particular I’ve loved. Guster. Odd name, and yet I think it’s perfect for them. Anyhow, I love this band, It’s good music to relax to, or drive with. They play a song called Satellite that’s in the movie Martian Child, and I was listening to it, and reminded me how much I love this band. Speaking of that movie though, I loved it also. Martian Child has John Cusack, and it’s about him adopting a boy that thinks he’s a martian. Weird, but very sweet, and I usually don’t even like sweet movies. Joan Cusack is in the movie too, and it made me realize that, she is like a parasite. She just attaches herself to her brothers career and floats along. Really. That’s pathetic, but hey, the family that shares together, Apparently stays rich... Lucky stiffs.
Other odd news lately. Two of my friends finally came out, and well we’re all Mormon (Sort of), so they made a bit of a stir. Oddly, I’m completely un-phased. My mother was mortified, which just made me laugh. My father, he didn’t really care, although it spurned on a bunch of names for gay men. I prefer to call say that they diddle in the hershey sauce. I know, completely uncalled for. Oh well. My Tolo date in high school was gay. He’s gorgeous though, still to this day. I remember asking him by writing a poem about him in class, since we shared AP Bio at the time. The first lines were “There was once a guy in my biology class, and my god did he have a nice ass”. I loved the poem and wish I could remember it, but it was very humorous.
I’m very much a moderate, politically, and I was disappointed in Obama’s choice for vice presidential candidate. Well, that was until McCain’s choice. Honestly. I wish politicians would quit pandering to people who don’t even like them, and just pick people that would be good for the spot. I mean, Palin would be great, fresh, idealistic, if we lived in the right society, but, we don’t. Period. We live in a society where people choose to vote for all the wrong reasons, and people are just politically uneducated. I’m a political science major if you didn’t know. And the majority of the people that vote can’t even tell you what the candidates stand for, at all. That’s just sad. Our system is corrupt, and people are dumb. Sad, but honestly the lack of political knowledge, or participation makes me sad. Also, I wish people understood the theories behind things, and paid attention to history.
Russia for example, and the ensuing conflicts with various countries and the US. Obama says he wants to talk it out, and not get involved or resort to violence. Admirable, and I wish that was the way things worked. We tried that with most wars, and then we get things like pearl harbor, etc. The point is, talking and economic sanctions don’t work for real, military threats. However, McCain doesn’t know how to play the thin line between preemptively responding, and addressing threats that can be talked down and put in their places through economic sanctions and pressure from the international scene. There’s no balance. We have two candidates that are way over on one side or the other, and so fixed in their ways that they cannot imagine alternatives. Politics are sad, and they affect everyone, yet no one is smart enough to participate intelligently.
Enough political ranting. No one likes politics anyhow, and those that do are senile. Case in point: Me. I’ve been listening to some great bands lately, but one in particular I’ve loved. Guster. Odd name, and yet I think it’s perfect for them. Anyhow, I love this band, It’s good music to relax to, or drive with. They play a song called Satellite that’s in the movie Martian Child, and I was listening to it, and reminded me how much I love this band. Speaking of that movie though, I loved it also. Martian Child has John Cusack, and it’s about him adopting a boy that thinks he’s a martian. Weird, but very sweet, and I usually don’t even like sweet movies. Joan Cusack is in the movie too, and it made me realize that, she is like a parasite. She just attaches herself to her brothers career and floats along. Really. That’s pathetic, but hey, the family that shares together, Apparently stays rich... Lucky stiffs.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Homeless kids, and In Bruges
I think I should dress up as a bag lady when I volunteer with homeless kids. Their... love of me... is getting out of hand. I had a kid ask me for my number tonight. He's not the first either. I think there is something about being homeless that gives you lots and lots of confidence. Hmm... Maybe that's what I need, to boost my confidence.... Eh, I'll pass. It is really weird though. And I'm not exactly a nice person... He asked for my number and I responded with "Oh, so you can take me back to your cardboard box?". I mean... I think I'd get the hint with the responses I give people.
So I was talking to my friend about my exceptionally low blood pressure, and low pulse, and it made me think about how much Diet Coke I consume. All that caffeine, must be raising or spiking my blood pressure and pulse in some way, right? If that's true, and my numbers are still so low, what does that mean? I've decided that it means that Diet Coke is the only thing keeping me alive! Without it my heart could stop! My life really does revolve around Diet Coke, because really, it depends upon it. Okay, not really, but I still think it's weird that my numbers are so low even with all the Diet Coke.
So, if you want to watch a funny movie, try In Bruges. Wait, I'm being deceptive... This movie is not a comedy. I repeat, this film, is NOT a comedy. But it is the funniest drama you've ever watched. However, if you are easily offended by the F word, I'd skip this suggestion as well. But if you're fine with the F word, and crass humor, more especially if you like them as well, then this should be your cup of tea. It has amazing movie quotes. Such as:
Ray: I've got four grams on me and one gram in me which is why me heart is going like the clappers, as is I'm about to have a heart attack. So if I collapse any minute now please remember to tell the doctors that it might have something to do with the coke.
Ken: How'd your date go?
Ray: My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing, which lasted all to briefly.
[pauses]
Ray: Isn't that always the way? One instance of me stealing five grams of very-high-quality cocaine and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead. So, all-in-all my evening pretty much balanced out fine.
Overweight Man: What exactly are you trying to say?
Ray: What exactly am I trying to say? You's a bunch of fuckin' elephants.
Ken: Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.
Chlo: He doesn't like being called a midget. He prefers dwarf.
Ray: This is exactly my point! People going around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf. Of course you're going to blow your head off.
Enough with In Bruges quotes. So I am very seriously broken hearted. One of my best friends Rachel is moving to England to go to graduate school. England? What the heck? There's no way she's going to fit in there. Her teeth are way too perfect. Although if I have a job anytime soon, that would give me a great chance to come visit. Ooohh.... Yay. Wait, not yay. She's going to be thousands of miles away for a whole year! While I'm stuck in the states. Bugger. Alone. Who's going to be my Sushi and Dim-Sum buddy now? Honestly, this blows.
Lastly... You know what sucks? Doing laundry. It takes so much time to do, but you're not really doing anything but waiting, but you still have to be home to switch it from the washer to the dryer, put another load in, etc. It's the worst. At least when you're cleaning you're busy doing something. Laundy is not my favorite chore if you couldn't tell. On top of it all, I'm out of spare hangars. Which means I need to buy more. But... I own a crap load of hangars on which to hang my crap load of clothes, which makes for a crap load of laundry. That's a lot of loads of crap. Man...
So I was talking to my friend about my exceptionally low blood pressure, and low pulse, and it made me think about how much Diet Coke I consume. All that caffeine, must be raising or spiking my blood pressure and pulse in some way, right? If that's true, and my numbers are still so low, what does that mean? I've decided that it means that Diet Coke is the only thing keeping me alive! Without it my heart could stop! My life really does revolve around Diet Coke, because really, it depends upon it. Okay, not really, but I still think it's weird that my numbers are so low even with all the Diet Coke.
So, if you want to watch a funny movie, try In Bruges. Wait, I'm being deceptive... This movie is not a comedy. I repeat, this film, is NOT a comedy. But it is the funniest drama you've ever watched. However, if you are easily offended by the F word, I'd skip this suggestion as well. But if you're fine with the F word, and crass humor, more especially if you like them as well, then this should be your cup of tea. It has amazing movie quotes. Such as:
Ray: I've got four grams on me and one gram in me which is why me heart is going like the clappers, as is I'm about to have a heart attack. So if I collapse any minute now please remember to tell the doctors that it might have something to do with the coke.
Ken: How'd your date go?
Ray: My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing, which lasted all to briefly.
[pauses]
Ray: Isn't that always the way? One instance of me stealing five grams of very-high-quality cocaine and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead. So, all-in-all my evening pretty much balanced out fine.
Overweight Man: What exactly are you trying to say?
Ray: What exactly am I trying to say? You's a bunch of fuckin' elephants.
Ken: Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.
Chlo: He doesn't like being called a midget. He prefers dwarf.
Ray: This is exactly my point! People going around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf. Of course you're going to blow your head off.
Enough with In Bruges quotes. So I am very seriously broken hearted. One of my best friends Rachel is moving to England to go to graduate school. England? What the heck? There's no way she's going to fit in there. Her teeth are way too perfect. Although if I have a job anytime soon, that would give me a great chance to come visit. Ooohh.... Yay. Wait, not yay. She's going to be thousands of miles away for a whole year! While I'm stuck in the states. Bugger. Alone. Who's going to be my Sushi and Dim-Sum buddy now? Honestly, this blows.
Lastly... You know what sucks? Doing laundry. It takes so much time to do, but you're not really doing anything but waiting, but you still have to be home to switch it from the washer to the dryer, put another load in, etc. It's the worst. At least when you're cleaning you're busy doing something. Laundy is not my favorite chore if you couldn't tell. On top of it all, I'm out of spare hangars. Which means I need to buy more. But... I own a crap load of hangars on which to hang my crap load of clothes, which makes for a crap load of laundry. That's a lot of loads of crap. Man...
Monday, August 18, 2008
Plagiarism for a paycheck!
So the other day... I was mad. I'm that way a lot these days I guess. Anyhow, I decided to waste some time in the second hand book store and find something to read on the bus these days. What to my amazement but one of my favorite authors, Orson Scott Card, had a series I hadn't read, and the first book was only $3. Score. Or so I thought. The book was called, "The Memory of Earth". So if you don't know me very well, I love books. I obsess about them, and they can be the highlight of life at times. Also, since Card wrote this book, I had expectations. This was going to be good. I could feel it.
For those of you who don't know, Card and I are both Mormon. We have the same religion. Cool right? Well, you'd think. I started reading it, and partway through, I realize, that he's plagiarized our religion for a paycheck! This whole "story" is pulled straight from the Book of Mormon, describing how a dad in a family gets a vision, and flees with his family out of the city. Then they have to go back for something... Yeah, I know the whole story by heart, and therefore knew what was coming in this book. It was the story of Lehi and Nephi, and returning to get the plates from Laban. I knew the ending to the book, but kept reading, hoping it wasn't really ripped straight from the Book of Mormon. But it was, it was the science fiction version of my religion. Wow. Epic fail. Utter disappointment. Honestly. Really? All that for a paycheck? That desperate? Screw you Orson. You suck.
You want to know the dumbest part of this whole thing? I want to get the second book in the series to see if he really follows the next part of the Book of Mormon and plagiarizes that, again! What a turd.
Another thing that's bugging me? Tropic Thunder. Yeah, that new movie that's out? Well, I'm part of the Society for Disability Studies, and the movie did a major faux pas by not correcting or addressing the bias portrayal of persons with a disability in the film. They did so with the black community, and not the disability community, and there are some offensive parts that show clear bias towards persons with mental disabilities. It really is atrocious if you think about it. On the other side, it's comedy. The reason is funny is because you're mocking the stereotypes and the realities of life. The line, is thin though. Just because you call it comedy, doesn't give you a get out of jail free card. You have to play the line tactfully or else it leaves the spectrum of comedy, and becomes a form of hate speech. Also by addressing and communicating with the black community in the making of the movie, but not the disability community, shows that the disability community is devalued in society, and by the producers. Okay, I'm done rambling. I'm not going to see the movie, but I'm disappointed by the reactions of both sides on this "issue".
Oh! Bingo! Guess what I just did... I ran across the kitchen of my house in my underwear to put something away, just hoping that no one saw. It was liberating. But really, it was.
Right... so I've been talking about Russia, for a while now. All through college actually and how dangerous it is, and how people don't realize how powerful it really is as a superpower in today's world. Everyone for the past few years has looked at me like I'm psychotic, like I'm suggesting painting cats pink. Honestly... But, a couple days ago, I got an email from a friend with the subject "Holy shit, you were right!". It was about the threat Russia made against Poland to nuke them if they cross them, essentially. Then, my Dad was like, so what do you think about what Russia is doing in Georgia... Suddenly people are seeing what I was saying, and they're like... Oh, I get it! It almost makes me angry that now they want to talk about it, about my research. But at the same time, I like people seeing what's really going on in the international political scene. Wow. I'm such a political science nerd. I thought I'd escaped it. Alas, I have not.
Lastly, my love life is so upside down right now. So funny things. I think I mentioned that, Derek and I are taking a break, and are currently not together. I hate it. Really, it blows. Suddenly every asshole I know is suddenly thinking that because I'm heartbroken and single, maybe they can get in my pants! Yay. Not! They're retarded. I got sick of sending the angry emails, so I just made it a facebook status, which had it's own messy repercussions. Funny though.
So funny stuff that has happened since our breakup. My brother Jeff left on a mission, and at his going away party, I got there, and a woman I know goes, "So, I heard you got dumped". Embarrassing enough in itself. But... she was on the other side of the place, so she had to say it loudly so I'd hear... me, and everyone else there. So suddenly, EVERYONE was asking. It was so ironic, I had to laugh. Something else funny happened. Funnier actually, but I cannot for the life of me, remember what it is... huh. Oh well.
For those of you who don't know, Card and I are both Mormon. We have the same religion. Cool right? Well, you'd think. I started reading it, and partway through, I realize, that he's plagiarized our religion for a paycheck! This whole "story" is pulled straight from the Book of Mormon, describing how a dad in a family gets a vision, and flees with his family out of the city. Then they have to go back for something... Yeah, I know the whole story by heart, and therefore knew what was coming in this book. It was the story of Lehi and Nephi, and returning to get the plates from Laban. I knew the ending to the book, but kept reading, hoping it wasn't really ripped straight from the Book of Mormon. But it was, it was the science fiction version of my religion. Wow. Epic fail. Utter disappointment. Honestly. Really? All that for a paycheck? That desperate? Screw you Orson. You suck.
You want to know the dumbest part of this whole thing? I want to get the second book in the series to see if he really follows the next part of the Book of Mormon and plagiarizes that, again! What a turd.
Another thing that's bugging me? Tropic Thunder. Yeah, that new movie that's out? Well, I'm part of the Society for Disability Studies, and the movie did a major faux pas by not correcting or addressing the bias portrayal of persons with a disability in the film. They did so with the black community, and not the disability community, and there are some offensive parts that show clear bias towards persons with mental disabilities. It really is atrocious if you think about it. On the other side, it's comedy. The reason is funny is because you're mocking the stereotypes and the realities of life. The line, is thin though. Just because you call it comedy, doesn't give you a get out of jail free card. You have to play the line tactfully or else it leaves the spectrum of comedy, and becomes a form of hate speech. Also by addressing and communicating with the black community in the making of the movie, but not the disability community, shows that the disability community is devalued in society, and by the producers. Okay, I'm done rambling. I'm not going to see the movie, but I'm disappointed by the reactions of both sides on this "issue".
Oh! Bingo! Guess what I just did... I ran across the kitchen of my house in my underwear to put something away, just hoping that no one saw. It was liberating. But really, it was.
Right... so I've been talking about Russia, for a while now. All through college actually and how dangerous it is, and how people don't realize how powerful it really is as a superpower in today's world. Everyone for the past few years has looked at me like I'm psychotic, like I'm suggesting painting cats pink. Honestly... But, a couple days ago, I got an email from a friend with the subject "Holy shit, you were right!". It was about the threat Russia made against Poland to nuke them if they cross them, essentially. Then, my Dad was like, so what do you think about what Russia is doing in Georgia... Suddenly people are seeing what I was saying, and they're like... Oh, I get it! It almost makes me angry that now they want to talk about it, about my research. But at the same time, I like people seeing what's really going on in the international political scene. Wow. I'm such a political science nerd. I thought I'd escaped it. Alas, I have not.
Lastly, my love life is so upside down right now. So funny things. I think I mentioned that, Derek and I are taking a break, and are currently not together. I hate it. Really, it blows. Suddenly every asshole I know is suddenly thinking that because I'm heartbroken and single, maybe they can get in my pants! Yay. Not! They're retarded. I got sick of sending the angry emails, so I just made it a facebook status, which had it's own messy repercussions. Funny though.
So funny stuff that has happened since our breakup. My brother Jeff left on a mission, and at his going away party, I got there, and a woman I know goes, "So, I heard you got dumped". Embarrassing enough in itself. But... she was on the other side of the place, so she had to say it loudly so I'd hear... me, and everyone else there. So suddenly, EVERYONE was asking. It was so ironic, I had to laugh. Something else funny happened. Funnier actually, but I cannot for the life of me, remember what it is... huh. Oh well.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
BLOGGING IS FUN!
So, I haven't blogged in a while.... like a long while, and a lot has happened. I started writing more of my Randall book I started AGES ago. Also, I graduated. Yes, this is correct, I am now a degree holding citizen. Not that it's really doing me much good, because I am still as of yet, unemployed. Worse yet, I'm broke so I have to move out of my place, and luckily found some sucker to take it. But the really bad part about this, is that it means moving in with my parents.... That's right, the P-word.
Now to most people, living with the parents, is not all bad. I mean come on, free food, free diet coke. Free rent even, so you can just relax with parents that love and adore you and look for work, while munching on free food. However, my parents, are unlike most parents. As much as I love my parents idea, that instilling a solid work ethic in their children is good, if you have to do everything at your parents beck and call while living there, it leaves you with little time to look for said job. Damn.... That's all I can say, Damn. Working for my mother, is hell. Absolute Hell. Let me tell you about my "jobs" the last two weeks I've lived in my parents house.
First one... We replaced the roof a while back, and that combined with roof rats, made the insulation come off the ceiling of the garage. So it fell upon me, the fearless skinny one, to work myself among the rafters spider-man style with a staple gun, and re-attach the insulation. Some of this required me to lay on the boards going across the rafters. One quick note: Due to the whole reason they needed to be fixed (roof rats!) I ended up laying on some odd pellet like things. Oh yeah, THAT WAS RAT CRAP! So I laid amongst the rat droppings, battling my fear of heights, with a staple gun for hours. It was pretty nasty. One of the worst parts, was realizing I had a hair on my face that was bugging me, and reaching to pull it off my face only to discover a daddy long leg and bits of web in my hand. It was marvelous, absolutely marvelous.
Second job... Well, since my mother obviously did not feel that I had properly attacked my fear of heights, amongst the poop covered rafters, she decided that we could paint the entry way. That sounds fun, right? Wait, yes, I got put in charge of painting everything from 10-20ft up, including the ceiling. So there was me, a wobbly ladder, and a roller on a very long stick, and I was scared to death. This lasted a couple of days, because apparently the paint needed three coats, instead of the usual two, to be "perfect" in my mothers eyes. Oh, and we found out that you had to be careful that the "white" paint from the other rooms didn't get this white on it. Apparently my mother felt that each room should be a different white. We have five different shades of white painted on one floor. That's not necessary! Honestly folks!
Third job... Let me preface this by saying, that I love my sisters very much, I promise. So my mother finds out she has to work Raven's shift, on Raven's birthday. So I get relegated to the duty of chauffeur, navigator, and time management specialist. Which really is just a fancy way for me to say that I get to make sure Raven gets whatever she wants, when she wants, and I'm in charge of getting there, and making sure no one effs it up. This might not sound so bad, except that Raven is like ten second Tom, and she cannot comprehend when things just physically aren't going to happen how she likes them. It was a nightmare. Also, Tess kept being like "Why did you turn the music down" "Turn the volume up", every single time I'd turn it down so that I could ask Raven a question, or call someone to set something up for her. This was almost worse than rolling around in the rafters with the rat turds.
Next Job... So I haven't actually done this one yet... It's coming next week. It could actually be fun, if I wasn't worried about getting a job, and getting the hell out of my parents place. My mother has decided that getting work off to go to Girls Camp for church doesn't sound as good as making me go in her place, and then getting a five day vacation. Imagine that. So I will be stuck with a bunch of 14 year old hormonal girls camping with them.... Oh shit. I don't even like girls my own age, much less the ones going through puberty. What the heck? I'm supposed to go to all their activities, including craft hour! Dude... I am not Martha Stewart anymore, and this is not a good idea. But, my mother likes it because she gets a vacation! Dang...
So beyond all that. Beyond the numerous requests and whatnot I am expected to comply with... I now have a curfew. Holy hell, really? Yes, I have frigging curfew. I'm a full grown adult, and I have a curfew. Could I be more humiliated? Why yes I could, want to know how? I share a room with my 13 year old sister. On top of that, I share a bunk bed with her... and I get the top. So if you've wondered why my self esteem has hit a record low, this could be why. I feel like a five year old. All I need next is a Teddy Bear. Oh wait, on top of that all. My mother hates me. Yeah, I know I forgot to mention that. It's a big one. HATES ME! I think it stems back to when she never wanted to have children, and then got preggers with me. She cried for weeks when she found out. Anyhow, her favorite thing to do is try to make me cry. Usually, she wins...
Now to most people, living with the parents, is not all bad. I mean come on, free food, free diet coke. Free rent even, so you can just relax with parents that love and adore you and look for work, while munching on free food. However, my parents, are unlike most parents. As much as I love my parents idea, that instilling a solid work ethic in their children is good, if you have to do everything at your parents beck and call while living there, it leaves you with little time to look for said job. Damn.... That's all I can say, Damn. Working for my mother, is hell. Absolute Hell. Let me tell you about my "jobs" the last two weeks I've lived in my parents house.
First one... We replaced the roof a while back, and that combined with roof rats, made the insulation come off the ceiling of the garage. So it fell upon me, the fearless skinny one, to work myself among the rafters spider-man style with a staple gun, and re-attach the insulation. Some of this required me to lay on the boards going across the rafters. One quick note: Due to the whole reason they needed to be fixed (roof rats!) I ended up laying on some odd pellet like things. Oh yeah, THAT WAS RAT CRAP! So I laid amongst the rat droppings, battling my fear of heights, with a staple gun for hours. It was pretty nasty. One of the worst parts, was realizing I had a hair on my face that was bugging me, and reaching to pull it off my face only to discover a daddy long leg and bits of web in my hand. It was marvelous, absolutely marvelous.
Second job... Well, since my mother obviously did not feel that I had properly attacked my fear of heights, amongst the poop covered rafters, she decided that we could paint the entry way. That sounds fun, right? Wait, yes, I got put in charge of painting everything from 10-20ft up, including the ceiling. So there was me, a wobbly ladder, and a roller on a very long stick, and I was scared to death. This lasted a couple of days, because apparently the paint needed three coats, instead of the usual two, to be "perfect" in my mothers eyes. Oh, and we found out that you had to be careful that the "white" paint from the other rooms didn't get this white on it. Apparently my mother felt that each room should be a different white. We have five different shades of white painted on one floor. That's not necessary! Honestly folks!
Third job... Let me preface this by saying, that I love my sisters very much, I promise. So my mother finds out she has to work Raven's shift, on Raven's birthday. So I get relegated to the duty of chauffeur, navigator, and time management specialist. Which really is just a fancy way for me to say that I get to make sure Raven gets whatever she wants, when she wants, and I'm in charge of getting there, and making sure no one effs it up. This might not sound so bad, except that Raven is like ten second Tom, and she cannot comprehend when things just physically aren't going to happen how she likes them. It was a nightmare. Also, Tess kept being like "Why did you turn the music down" "Turn the volume up", every single time I'd turn it down so that I could ask Raven a question, or call someone to set something up for her. This was almost worse than rolling around in the rafters with the rat turds.
Next Job... So I haven't actually done this one yet... It's coming next week. It could actually be fun, if I wasn't worried about getting a job, and getting the hell out of my parents place. My mother has decided that getting work off to go to Girls Camp for church doesn't sound as good as making me go in her place, and then getting a five day vacation. Imagine that. So I will be stuck with a bunch of 14 year old hormonal girls camping with them.... Oh shit. I don't even like girls my own age, much less the ones going through puberty. What the heck? I'm supposed to go to all their activities, including craft hour! Dude... I am not Martha Stewart anymore, and this is not a good idea. But, my mother likes it because she gets a vacation! Dang...
So beyond all that. Beyond the numerous requests and whatnot I am expected to comply with... I now have a curfew. Holy hell, really? Yes, I have frigging curfew. I'm a full grown adult, and I have a curfew. Could I be more humiliated? Why yes I could, want to know how? I share a room with my 13 year old sister. On top of that, I share a bunk bed with her... and I get the top. So if you've wondered why my self esteem has hit a record low, this could be why. I feel like a five year old. All I need next is a Teddy Bear. Oh wait, on top of that all. My mother hates me. Yeah, I know I forgot to mention that. It's a big one. HATES ME! I think it stems back to when she never wanted to have children, and then got preggers with me. She cried for weeks when she found out. Anyhow, her favorite thing to do is try to make me cry. Usually, she wins...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Movies, Graduation, and Homeless Bussing
So, it's uh, been a while. Right... Well, right now I'm so agitated with finals, I can barely think. People keep asking me if I'm just ecstatic to be done with finals, and while yes, that's true... Now I have to find a job. CRAPPP.... That's always a joy. You have one month of money for rent and all that, and now, it's time to find a job. I love it.
My boyfriend and I started watching a movie called Time Bandits. I love it actually. It's old yeah, but it has a lot of parts I can really relate to. Here's a brief and politically incorrect synopsis: A bunch of funky midgets who work for the supreme being steal a map that show all the doors in the fabric of time. There's a line where a midget is explaining about the map, and he says something along the lines of "The fabric of time is a lot more botched together than you think, what with only seven days to make it and all". It's hilarious. So anyhow, these midgets are trying to become international criminals across time, and along the way they pick up this kid because they crash into his room, and he's way smarter than them all. The Devil, who is the funniest character ever, beguiles one of the midgets to convince them all to head to some place where all treasure exists! Yeah, it's totally a trap. But the Devil, since he's grand, he is talking to his henchmen and they are talking to him and whenever one talks back to him the devil points his finger, and the henchman blows up, but their arm is always still attached to the switch on the wall, or feet to the ground, it's funny. But anyhow they're talking about how God is silly because he spends his time creating 67 varieties of parrot, slugs!, nipples for men, etc. Then he goes on to say how the future is in machines, data processors, computer chips, etc. Oddly, it's almost like the Devil is Microsoft. I love it.
So the midgets go on this quest, all the while being chased by God, who is trying to get his map back, and over time they reach the devil, he traps them and they escape... blah blah blah. The point is, there's a bunch of midgets that think they're hot stuff, and the devil is Microsoft. What more could you need? Well... my guy didn't like it. BUT, he likes the movie Contact... Contact? Honestly, are you serious? Jodie Foster, the most unattractive dike, besides Rosie, is the quintessential science geek who finds a signal from Vega, and finds plans to build a machine to travel through space instantaneously, and then no one believes her except her old flame who happens to be Matthew McConahey. However you spell that, he's overrated and lame anyhow. Oh, and he's ugly. To be truthful, in Failure to Launch I thought it was the best match up ever, Sarah Jessica Parker and Him. Ugyly Moron meets Ugly Bitch. They were perfect for each other. You know, keep the ugly together.
Back to Contact. Her acting is bad enough, and then add to that, the flaws in the characters that make them all so unlikeable throughout the film, it's near impossible to catch the message at the end, that one can't prove everything that exists, and so its okay to believe in God... yadda yadda yadda. Derek prefers that? Come on, there's no midgets, no devil, no futuristic seventies music. Ugh, it's pathetic.
On a happier note. I'm done with College. As in, I took my last final and I walk on Saturday. Goll I hate UW. Did you know they have over 2.2 billion in fixed assets they never touch. Do you realize that's more than the GDP of some small african countries, and this is money UW seemingly doesn't even need? Oh, and they have the audacity to raise tuition as much as possible each year? wtf? Add to that the fact that you can't get anything taken care of properly, and you have a very pissed off me.
I was waiting for my grade to post from my internship, because without it, it shows me as not being a full time student. Big deal right? It'll show up eventually. NOOOOO...... Without being a full time student, I can't get my financial aid, and I can't get my insurance, and I can't register for other stuff. Ugh, last I checked, these were all big problems, especially the financial aid part. That's my rent, and my phone bill, and my tuition, and my groceries! Come on! I want to eat. In fact, I really really like eating. It's like a hobby.
Food. I've been wanting a donut for the last month. Yeah, about that. It still hasn't happened. I want a donut dang it. It doesn't help that I'm stuck on a bus, and I'm hungry right now. This bus I'm on, it's huge. It's a double. It does not fill up on the first stop. A little note on bus etiquette and protocol, DO NOT SIT NEXT TO SOMEONE IF THERE ARE A MILLION SEATS AROUND AVAILABLE. It invades my personal space. You'll never guess what happened today... Yeah, some little asian woman that probably drives slow sat next to me. Ugh. At least, it wasn't the homeless guy from a couple weeks back. But, I think I scared him.
He sat next to me, and it was the end of the night, and there was maybe five people on the bus. PLENTY OF ROOM! He could have sat anywhere, but he sits his homeless butt right next to me, and sticks all his bags of trash around us. Let me tell you, it smelled great. Like amazing. Like fetted peaches, body odor, and piss, all combined into one glorious entity. This guy is profound, so I decide, if he's going to effing sit next to me, I'm going to talk to him, possibly find out why the eff he felt the need to invade my personal space. So I start asking him questions, how are you, that's cool where'd you get that, want some of my lotion, etc. Lots of questions. He starts answering them, and he has this why are you talking to me, you're psycho look on his face that keeps deepening. It was fantastic. So I keep talking, and when his stop comes, he leaps out of the seat pretty much to get off. The next day I see him, and he sits as far away from me as humanly possible. It was quite the feeling of Victory. In fact, I stood up on the bus and did a little Jig. I get a perverse sense of pleasure whenever this guy gets on the bus and sits far away from me and won't even look at me. I laugh, audibly.
So Graduation... I have a party tomorrow... well, I should say my sister and I have a party tomorrow, which in fact means, that She has a party tomorrow. That means that I will be doing all the grunt work while she runs around being cheerful. Lovely. Funny thing about these parties, is that really, they are for neither of us. They're for our mother. She throws them, and she gets pleasure out of them. It makes her feel good to throw parties. Kind of bizarre but you know. Now, I have one of my friends from middle school coming, which means I haven't seen this pot smoking hustler in about five years. And he's going to come to my grad party... I'm picturing in my mind, him showing up stoned, with a bottle in one hand and a reefer in the other. Not good. I can only hope something has changed in the last five years. Something drastic.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
McNasty and Black people...
Apparently switching blog sites was a bad idea. lol. I've pissed off my old blog people, and not gotten them to move. Oh well.
I woke up today... at eleven. Yeah, like eleven in the frigging morning. In case you were wondering, my first class is at 930... and I TOTALLY missed it. I made it to only my last class. The history of Modern Korea! Woot Woot. I hate this class. English isn't her first language, and I have a hard time filtering through her Korean accent. It's awful. I tell you. Can we not afford to have skilled and knowledgeable professors who know how to speak english?I feel worse for the science majors. All the geeky professors, are asian. It's crazy.
So I haven't blogged in a few days because life got really crazy, and this monday, I was at a funeral all day. It was kind of a sad day. But oddly, a lot of funny stuff happened. I think we were all so sleep deprived and shocked, that a lot of our true humor came out. It all started when my Dad said he wanted to be cremated when he kicked the bucket. I told him that wasn't going to happen since he'd be dead and have absolutely no say. My junior year in college, I took a class called The Comparative Study of Death. Wow, right? An entire quarter discussing death? Oh yeah, and it's one of my favorite of the classes I took. So then I decided to relay some of the information I'd acquired during that class. I informed him, that in fact, he'd have an eco-burial. This is a popular new thing, where a farmer gives up some of his land to be a cemetery, and they bury people in the land, and plant a tree where they bury the person, so the tree feeds off the remains of your dead ones. You then get a tree in their memory, GPS coordinates to find them, and the farmer gets ground for his sheep to graze on. Pretty weird.
Then we started joking about how you can make a diamond out of the remains of your loved ones, since we're carbon based and all. Then we started thinking how funny it would be if your guy proposed to you, and hands you the ring, and says "This is mom." Then you turn to him and say "You mean, this was your mom's." "No, I this is my mom, we had her made into a diamond." Awkward. Right? We thought it would be hilarious.
Then I told my Dad that actually, when he died, I'd cremate him like he wanted, then I'd add magnetic particles to his ashes, and make an etch-a-sketch. I could give it to my kid, ha ha. Okay, I am sick, because I think it sounds hilarious.
So right before we got there, Tess and Raven were both like, I'm hungry! Let's go to McDonald's. I hate McNasty's, and beyond that I wasn't quite hungry enough to stoop to that, but I go anyways since I can get an extra large Diet Coke out of it. ::Ah, Paradise:: So the whole way there, we're joking about some Jewish relatives and how we should go get a role of pennies and make a trail leading into the casket or the hearst, then watch them follow it and disrupt everything. Then we start joking about our relatives who are near, and we start talking about the rednecks, and tossing around redneck jokes. It was all in good fun. My boyfriend is Japanese, so then we started making fun of Asians. We joked about the Confucious says and other cliche stuff like that.
Well, we pull up at McNasty and the guy in front of us is the big fat black man in a white car, and I turn to my dad and said, "Hey look a black man in a white car". Then my dad says "I wonder if he's compensating for something". Then we all start cracking up and laughing all over the place, and on come the black jokes, and some mexican jokes. The whole while we reach the first window, where you pay, and he reaches the second window, and Tess is getting anxious. So Tess says "Ugh, Can someone get a dozer to move the fat black man? Honestly, shouldn't he be at KFC anyways?" Half way through this, I look up at our cashier, and she's a lovely woman, and she's black. CRApp...... She just glared at us. It was amazing. So I reach back and slap her leg to get her to stop, and it was so funny, because she was like "What?", then looks over, sees the girl, and we all go silent. Once we finally get our food, and whatnot, we burst out laughing. It was so awkward, and yet hilarious.
So yeah, that was the extent of my weekend.
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