My boyfriend and I started watching a movie called Time Bandits. I love it actually. It's old yeah, but it has a lot of parts I can really relate to. Here's a brief and politically incorrect synopsis: A bunch of funky midgets who work for the supreme being steal a map that show all the doors in the fabric of time. There's a line where a midget is explaining about the map, and he says something along the lines of "The fabric of time is a lot more botched together than you think, what with only seven days to make it and all". It's hilarious. So anyhow, these midgets are trying to become international criminals across time, and along the way they pick up this kid because they crash into his room, and he's way smarter than them all. The Devil, who is the funniest character ever, beguiles one of the midgets to convince them all to head to some place where all treasure exists! Yeah, it's totally a trap. But the Devil, since he's grand, he is talking to his henchmen and they are talking to him and whenever one talks back to him the devil points his finger, and the henchman blows up, but their arm is always still attached to the switch on the wall, or feet to the ground, it's funny. But anyhow they're talking about how God is silly because he spends his time creating 67 varieties of parrot, slugs!, nipples for men, etc. Then he goes on to say how the future is in machines, data processors, computer chips, etc. Oddly, it's almost like the Devil is Microsoft. I love it.
So the midgets go on this quest, all the while being chased by God, who is trying to get his map back, and over time they reach the devil, he traps them and they escape... blah blah blah. The point is, there's a bunch of midgets that think they're hot stuff, and the devil is Microsoft. What more could you need? Well... my guy didn't like it. BUT, he likes the movie Contact... Contact? Honestly, are you serious? Jodie Foster, the most unattractive dike, besides Rosie, is the quintessential science geek who finds a signal from Vega, and finds plans to build a machine to travel through space instantaneously, and then no one believes her except her old flame who happens to be Matthew McConahey. However you spell that, he's overrated and lame anyhow. Oh, and he's ugly. To be truthful, in Failure to Launch I thought it was the best match up ever, Sarah Jessica Parker and Him. Ugyly Moron meets Ugly Bitch. They were perfect for each other. You know, keep the ugly together.
Back to Contact. Her acting is bad enough, and then add to that, the flaws in the characters that make them all so unlikeable throughout the film, it's near impossible to catch the message at the end, that one can't prove everything that exists, and so its okay to believe in God... yadda yadda yadda. Derek prefers that? Come on, there's no midgets, no devil, no futuristic seventies music. Ugh, it's pathetic.
On a happier note. I'm done with College. As in, I took my last final and I walk on Saturday. Goll I hate UW. Did you know they have over 2.2 billion in fixed assets they never touch. Do you realize that's more than the GDP of some small african countries, and this is money UW seemingly doesn't even need? Oh, and they have the audacity to raise tuition as much as possible each year? wtf? Add to that the fact that you can't get anything taken care of properly, and you have a very pissed off me.
I was waiting for my grade to post from my internship, because without it, it shows me as not being a full time student. Big deal right? It'll show up eventually. NOOOOO...... Without being a full time student, I can't get my financial aid, and I can't get my insurance, and I can't register for other stuff. Ugh, last I checked, these were all big problems, especially the financial aid part. That's my rent, and my phone bill, and my tuition, and my groceries! Come on! I want to eat. In fact, I really really like eating. It's like a hobby.
Food. I've been wanting a donut for the last month. Yeah, about that. It still hasn't happened. I want a donut dang it. It doesn't help that I'm stuck on a bus, and I'm hungry right now. This bus I'm on, it's huge. It's a double. It does not fill up on the first stop. A little note on bus etiquette and protocol, DO NOT SIT NEXT TO SOMEONE IF THERE ARE A MILLION SEATS AROUND AVAILABLE. It invades my personal space. You'll never guess what happened today... Yeah, some little asian woman that probably drives slow sat next to me. Ugh. At least, it wasn't the homeless guy from a couple weeks back. But, I think I scared him.
He sat next to me, and it was the end of the night, and there was maybe five people on the bus. PLENTY OF ROOM! He could have sat anywhere, but he sits his homeless butt right next to me, and sticks all his bags of trash around us. Let me tell you, it smelled great. Like amazing. Like fetted peaches, body odor, and piss, all combined into one glorious entity. This guy is profound, so I decide, if he's going to effing sit next to me, I'm going to talk to him, possibly find out why the eff he felt the need to invade my personal space. So I start asking him questions, how are you, that's cool where'd you get that, want some of my lotion, etc. Lots of questions. He starts answering them, and he has this why are you talking to me, you're psycho look on his face that keeps deepening. It was fantastic. So I keep talking, and when his stop comes, he leaps out of the seat pretty much to get off. The next day I see him, and he sits as far away from me as humanly possible. It was quite the feeling of Victory. In fact, I stood up on the bus and did a little Jig. I get a perverse sense of pleasure whenever this guy gets on the bus and sits far away from me and won't even look at me. I laugh, audibly.
So Graduation... I have a party tomorrow... well, I should say my sister and I have a party tomorrow, which in fact means, that She has a party tomorrow. That means that I will be doing all the grunt work while she runs around being cheerful. Lovely. Funny thing about these parties, is that really, they are for neither of us. They're for our mother. She throws them, and she gets pleasure out of them. It makes her feel good to throw parties. Kind of bizarre but you know. Now, I have one of my friends from middle school coming, which means I haven't seen this pot smoking hustler in about five years. And he's going to come to my grad party... I'm picturing in my mind, him showing up stoned, with a bottle in one hand and a reefer in the other. Not good. I can only hope something has changed in the last five years. Something drastic.
1 comment:
So you were blogging nasty crap about me and that's why I didn't know you had a blog and had to stumble on it through Morgan? Or you're afraid I'll despise you for being "outside" realms of appropriateness. I see how it is Ms. Dean :) How the heck are you?! Well, mostly pessemistic I can see, I'm doing the same. Birds of a feather, us two.
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