Marriage, is what makes me gag, today.

All my friends are getting married these days, and it’s weird. Weirder yet, is that lots of them are putting their baby making machinery to work and popping out versions 2.0. Creepy. And, while I like my friends in some portion or another, the idea of a bunch of mini-them’s waltzing around makes me wary. But the whole everyone getting hitched, I mean that’s cool, sad it’s not me, but... I can’t tell if it makes me quite mad, as in jealous, or if it makes me weirded out that everyone’s tying the noose knot so soon. Which made me start thinking about my no-marriage policy. I’ve decided that if I found or if I have found the right one, I’d be up for it. It would be conditional upon a few things though.

First off, they’d have to agree to put up with me during the bad time of the month once I got off the shot. But you know, that’s not THAT much to ask... most months. Second, they’d have to want and be willing to head toward a temple marriage. I’m okay with civil first, especially, you know, if he were a convert, and his parents weren’t members. Cough Cough... (You know, like perhaps my guy’s). But he’d have to be supportive of working the next year on getting us into the temple, and want to keep the church and the temple a big part of our married life. Third, he’s has to want kids in some form, and I don’t mean the kids in some form, alien, animal, etc. I mean want in some form. So like, he could want one kid, or five kids, that’s all fine, and he could even not necessarily be gung-ho about having kids but know that they’re a part of the future, all those circumstances are just fine. Fourth... well... he’s has to agree to want to buy a house in the near future, near being within ten years, and being willing and able to work toward that. Willing, meaning thinking positively about the idea, and able, as in has the ability to save his money, and get a job that has some surplus after the bills. Fifth, he has to be willing to be home if we had a family as often as possible, and want and be willing to make family, home, and church, a priority in life and marriage. Fifth, he has to agree to help with the house if we’re both working, and he has to keep himself and his things or space, neat and tidy (luckily, my current, has NO problem with all that. Ah, I love him). Sixth, he has to propose in some creative way. Doesn’t have to be big or extravagant, but I don’t want to tell my kids, well we were sitting down, and leaned over and asked me if I’d marry him and I said yes. That’s so freaking blah.

My parents have the funniest story of proposal. Well, I think it’s funny. So my Dad had been trying to get my mother to agree to marry him for a while, and he NEVER wanted to get married, didn’t want the noose around her neck, and didn’t want a family or any of that “expletive”. On this one particular night, my mom got proposed to by a guy she claims she barely knew, and had been on three dates with, and it was in her apartment, and then my Dad calls and she’s like, oh crap, I love this guy, I need to get this other doofer out of my apartment. She was so rude to this guy, she snuck him down the stairs while my Dad was coming up the elevator, and this guy is like crying, and she really didn’t care. So then my Dad says he’s going to leave the state and her and everything unless she marries him, and she buckled, and gave in. It so explains their current relationship, which is amazingly enough really happy and functional.

So the other day, my guy mentioned marriage (and I didn’t get my hopes up so shush), and he was thinking of who he’d want to go to his wedding, and we discussed it, and he decided he wanted a small ceremony. Then a couple days later, he said he wanted to get married in Hawaii, and I thought that was a)weird to bring up b)pretty freaking romantic coming from a guy c)not too bad an idea. It was odd, because sometimes I get the feeling he’d like to marry me someday, and other times, I feel like I’m just holding a place until he decides what he really wants. Great.
Proposals. Yeah, back to those. You know what the most awkward thing in the world is? Saying no. I’ve been proposed to three times in my life, well three with a ring, and tentatively two other times. Weird right? I’m 21... That’s weird to me. Weirder still is that I said no to both of the bold ring bearing offers and didn’t quite say yes to the other two. It’s really awkward, when they take you out, or they put forth all that effort, they have a frigging ring, and then you’re like, um, actually, no... and on top of that since I am unwilling to marry you, let’s break up. I must come across as a total witch, spelled more with a B, when I do that, but what am I supposed to say? The most awkward proposal, was a guy that went out of the country on business brought back three huge diamonds, certified and everything, and then had them placed in a platinum setting by a jeweler we knew. Oh, and did I mention that there were $5k of diamonds on that thing? Yeah, that was really hard to say no to, mostly because I knew it was non-refundable. Always looking out for that bottom dollar, right?

So all this marriage crap made me start thinking what I want if I manage to convince some sad sap I’m not as much of a dud and a drag I actually am. I really am starting to like my guys idea of getting married in Hawaii, on Maui. So we could get married, in Maui, I’d almost like the cliche idea of getting hitched on the beach with both our families and whoever had enough cash to be willing to come to Hawaii to see us tie the knot. I’d want to wear a modest, but pretty flowing dress, all in white, but with some splash of aqua, perhaps a ribbon in my hair, or around my waist, tied in the back. I’d want yellow-orange roses all over the freaking place, and tie them up with aqua colored bows around the stem. That sounds really cute to me now, but by the time I find a sucker, I’ll probably decide that’s a horrid color scheme. But for now, yellow-orange roses with aqua accents on everything sounds really beautiful to me. I’d want a square 3-tier cake with yellow-orange rose petals around it, pretty simple and pretty. Ah, this is sick... I’m thinking about my dream wedding. Gross. Pretty soon I’ll be wearing pink and listening to Miley Cyrus.... Crap... (I totally looked down and realized I’m wearing a shirt with a little bit of pink on it. I think I’ll go home and burn it).